i'm haunted by my past
by SendAHeart
Summary: SEDDIE! its set two days after the iOMG episode. Sam's past is some how returning to her, but for how long have this been going on? What is it? And why does it make her scared? Will Freddie find out and help her? this is my first story, so please go easy.
1. Chapter 1

Hey. This is my first story hear at fanfiction, please go easy on me. And I'm Norwegian and dyslexics so please don't judge me about my writing mistakes. If there are some mistakes, please do tell. I also have a youtube account called Sendaheart, I will make a trailer for this story. Hope you'll enjoy this story.

**Sam's POV**

I sat in the bathroom, not sure what I was doing. Just thinking of stuff, and being mad. Two days ago I'd kissed the dork! I can't believe I did it. I didn't even know I had does feelings for him before I did it. Oh. Gosh! I can't love that stupid nerd! I hadn't talked to Carly or anyone else since it happened. I hadn't checked my phone either, but I was sure there were a lot of missed calls. After that awkward moment with Freddie I made up a fake excuse to him, that I had plans to meet someone at twelve. Of course he knew it wasn't true, but I think he didn't like what happened, and surely he did not feel the same way! I mean his been in love with Carly since I can remember! I looked down at my wrist, where three almost, fresh cuts were cut. "Why did this have to happen to me?" I said to myself. I heard the front door open; it had to be my mom. I dragged my sleeve over my wrist, so the cuts wouldn't be seen. I got up, and ran out the bathroom door and in to my room. As soon as I got there, I could hear voices from the living room. "You know, this isn't that unusual from Sam. She skips school all the time, doesn't she?" mom said. "um.. well yeah.. but she always calls me or comes over to my house. She haven't been taken my calls at all" Carly's here! "So we've kinda been worried about her" oh no! That's.. Freddie! They were walking over to my room. oh no, I can't face Freddie. That'll be to embarrassing. I was thinking of an escape, and I saw the window was open, I ran over there and climbed out. "Sam? You there?" Carly said. "She's not here" Freddie said. "well, were is she than?" "no idea". They both seemed bummed, but I was not gonna talk to Freddie. I walked over to the bus stop, turning around every now and than, just to be sure Carly or Freddie wouldn't nodes me. I took the bus over to bushwell, I still keeping eye, making sure they where out of sight. I got in, saw lewbert asleep and took the elevator up to Carly's apartment. I looked around, I grabbed a snack from their fridge and sneaked my way up to her bedroom, took on the light and sat down in her bed. I was hoping Freddie wouldn't be with her, when she got back.

Carly's POV:

Me and Freddie where talking the elevator to our floor. Neither of us had really talked since we'd been at Sam's house. When we got out of the elevator and we both stood out side our doors I said "so.. um. Should we go back tomorrow I mean it's iCarly tomorrow aswell ?"  
>"I don't know, maybe I shouldn't go, but you can." "why not?" "you know, maybe she doesn't want to talk to me yet, and you should probably talk to her first and figure out what's on her mind." "yeah, you're probably right." We both half smiled and went in to our own apartments.<br>I went to the fridge to get something to eat before I went to bed. (it was getting late.)  
>when I opened it, I got kinda sad, it was so full! I really hope Sam's okey..<p>

When I was done eating I got ready for bed, when I walked in to my bedroom. The light was on, I thought I left it off.. I walked over to the bed. Someone was sleeping in my bed! I screamed.

Sam's POV:

I woke up from someone screaming. "WHAT! WHERE, WHO, WHAT!" I was freaking out and looked everywhere. "oh carly it's you." I relaxed. She gave me a hug.  
>"SAM!. You're here! I've been so worried. You just ran away after the lock in! Why haven't you contacted me, or anyone else?" Carly was surely stressed.<br>"oh you know.. I've been places.. had people to see.. and that kinda stuff"  
>"Sam.." carly was gave me a serious look.<br>"okay, fine.. I had some thinking to do. Alright?"  
>"but sam, why would you talk to me? why have you never told me you liked Freddie that way?"<br>"whoa. What? Who told you that?"  
>"I…I saw you guys, when you, you know.. kissed him."<br>I looked down, thinking of what to say. "I didn't even know I felt that way! And I still don't know, I really hope I don't feel that way about him!"  
>"Sam are you still denying your feelings?"<br>"No! I don't know how I feel okay! That's why I've been away, and I didn't want to face or talk to Freddie" Carly seemed to understand, finally.  
>"so can I just sleep here tonight? With no more talking of this stuff." I said.<br>"yeah, sure.. but we will talk about it!" Carly pointed her finger at me.  
>I rolled my eyes, "sure."<br>Carly got on the other side of the bed, and she turn of the light.

Awhile had passed, Carly had fallen asleep. I didn't get it, I always fell asleep fast. Maybe cause Carly just woke me up, and than I where supposed to go asleep again straight after. I took a look around the room. it had been awhile, so I could fine in the dark. On one of the walls Carly had put up four stickers, four letters, it read CUTE. I smiled to my self, and closed my eyes trying to sleep.

Suddenly I was in a dark, dark room, there where no windows, so I couldn't see a thing. It felt like I'd been there before. Someone opened the door, and grabbed me by the hair, and pointed a gun at me. I heard a bang, and I woke up. I was breathing heavily. It took some time for me to saddle down. Carly was still sleeping. I looked around again, and than I saw does stickers again, but the last letter had fell down. Now.. it read CUT. I didn't know how to react, I felt lie I couldn't breath for a while. when got my strength back, I walked out of the bed. I made sure Carly wouldn't wake up. I walked down to the living room, and tried to sleep at the couch instead.  
>It worked.<p>

There. The first chapter. Hope you liked it, hopefully the next chapter will be up tomorrow. Every chapter will be at least a thousand words, or longer.


	2. itry to find a way out

**Yey, chapter two! ****iTry to find a way out. **

**And i've made a trailer for this story. Check it out:** .com/watch?v=DHYpMj4HE0Y .

**Carly's POV**

When I woke up the next morning, Sam wasn't beside me. _Was it al dream? _I thought to myself. I got ready for the day, and went down the stairs. Than I saw Sam was sleeping on the couch. Well good to know it weren't a dream. I smiled to my self.

Someone knocked on the door, to not wake up Sam; I walked over to the door to open it. It was Freddie.

"Morning Carls, have you gotten any contact with…" he didn't need to complete the sentence cause he saw Sam on the couch. Freddie walked in to the apartment with me over to the kitchen. "So.. did she say anything?" he asked.

"Maybe.. " I answered.

"Maybe? "

"aha" I said as I drank some lemonade.

"Carly! Either she said something, or she didn't."

I drank some more.

"So..?"

"So… what?" I said like I was clueless. Freddie surely was getting frustrated.

"Did she say something or did she not!"

"Say about what? "

"aahhrrr" He yelled out really irritated. "You know what, stop irritating me!"

"Okey.. sorry, just needed to torture you a little" I smiled. " She did say something. Not much, but still I think you should wait before you talk to her your self. "

"Right.. all this talk for nothing.." he said upset.

"want some lemonade?" I offered, still smiling.

"sure." He took a glass, and filled it.

**Sam's POV. **

I haven't sleep this well in forever! Two days to long.. I smiled to myself. I got up to a sitting position. I rubbed my tummy. "CARLY!" I yelled.

"aah… No need to yell I'm right here!" She said sitting with the computer.

"i'm hungry.." I informed her.

"Sure you are"

"Make me something?" I said hopeful. Looked like she had to think about it.

"You know what! Just because you haven't taken something out of our fridge in two days I will" she smiled and walked over to make me something. I smiled to, satisfied. I'm so not gonna tell about the snack I took last night.

Spencer walked in. "hey Sam, we've missed you around here" he said.

"aww. Well you know.. been sick."

"ah, well glad you're feeling better." He said and turn around, it seems like he knew that wasn't the truth. Carly haven't told have she? I felt a little angry.

"where did Freddie go.? " Spencer asked Carly.

"oh he went up to the iCarly studio to fix something for tonight." She said as she was making me a large sandwich.

"WAIT! Freddie's here?" I said freaked!

"Yeah, for an hour or so now." I freaked even more out.

"Heh, you know.. ehm.. Carly I just remembered I have a dentist appointment I have to go to today so.." I started to walk to the door. She walked over me.

"No way Sam! You're not leaving!."

"But I.."

"No!" she interrupted me. "You're gonna stay here, eat the sandwich. And than you're gonna face Freddie and than we get ready to do iCarly!"

I was bummed. Why?. I sat back in the couch, and ate the sandwich Carly made. "Teenagers and there drama" Spencer said, laughing to himself.

A few minutes later when I had finished my phone rang.

"See Carly, it's probably my mom reminding me of the dentist appointment!" I took the phone out of my pocket.

"I know there's no dentist appointment!" she screamed to me. Indeed it was my mom who called. But what did she want? She never cared about me. Carly walked over to me.

"Give me that!" she said and answered my call.

"Hallo?... oh Ms. Puckett, it's me Carly.. ah.. yeah she's here… mhm.. jupp… Aha…. Okey.. sure." Than she hung up.

"She called to remind you of you dentist appointment." She said embarrassed. What`? really.. wow. Thank you who or whatever that made that happened!

"HAH! Told you!"

"Yeah, you did. I'm sorry."

"So.. who's gonna take me?"

"what?"

"You know how it went the last time! I can't go by my self." I said in defence.

"Well, Gibby's coming over soon, I'm gonna make him ready for tonight. So I can't" Carly said.

I felt so bummed. "Bu.." Spencer interrupted me.

"I've got no life, so i'll take you." Spencer said grabbing some keys.

"awesome." I smiled. And we walked out.

_**Two hours later**_.

Finally finished at the dentist! Well at least I didn't bite him that many times this time.

I was sitting with Spencer in his car. We didn't talk, or well. He was talking, but I didn't listen, I'm sure it was about some new sculpture he was building. I was to busy thinking about how I could avoid Freddie when we came back. Suddenly I lost track of my thoughts. This

Wasn't the way to Carly's! "Spencer! Where are you going?"

"oh, I just told you. We have to make a quit stop at the store."

"right..of course. "

When we stopped, Spencer walked in to the store, and left me in the car. Than, I got the idea too leave the car. I know. Very creative!

So I left the car, and ran out the sight. I was gonna walk over to Carly's and arrived just as iCarly started. So I didn't really have to face Freddie. Just.. See him. I took out my phone. 6pm. The show started in one and a half hour. I send a message to Spencer, telling him something came up, so he wouldn't worry and look for me.

**Carly's POV**

I was in the iCarly studio with Freddie. He was fixing some stuff, while I watched some TV. I laughed to myself. "the guy thinks the bird can talk" .

I heard the door close down stairs. "They're back!"

Me and Freddie both ran down to hear how it went. Spencer approached us.

"Carly don't be mad". He said guilty. I got a little suspicious, I couldn't see Sam.

"She's umm. Not with me.."

"We can see that!" I said.

"where is she?" Freddie asked.

"uhm,, well.. I.. I don't know!"

"SPENCER!" me and Freddie screamed together.

**Sam's POV****: **

Aaw.. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I really do not enjoy walking! Suddenly I felt something wet fall down on my arm. I looked up at the sky, and felt the rain fall. Great!

I run to the nearest place with a roof. It was getting kinda chilly. Than heard someone call my name. "Samantha?" who was that? It couldn't be Spencer he knew to better than to call me that. Oh no. I know who it is. I got a little scared. I turned around and the person was confirmed.

**Freddie's POV****. **

I can't believe this, or well it Sam but. I never get the chance to see her and talk about the kiss. I still can't believe she's in love, and with me! Me and her have always had a.. kinda special, weird bond.. i smiled remembering back to the conversation before the kiss. She tried to convince me she didn't hate me. Still, I believe she'll continue saying it, if.. we ever met again. Where is she?

I kept thinking, about the first time we ever kissed, and than that time at the club. If it was her, and that last time.

**Sam's POV:**

"I haven't seen you for some time Samantha!" He walked around me, just a little to close. I hated that he called me Samantha! He was the whole reason I hated everyone else calling me Samantha!. "you know, even if it haven't been that long. I still missed" he smirked at me. I felt disgusted. I didn't say anything; I almost never say anything while he was around. He dragged his hand trough my hair, which made me feel more disgusted.

"I've decided to forgive you for what you did. I care for you to much." He said and kissed me at the chick. I wanted to trough up, but more than anything I wanted to poll him away and run. I couldn't I felt to weak with him, and I couldn't, even if I could, I knew he had people near by who would catch me.

"I don't want you to do iCarly tonight Samantha!" Now was my time to say something.

"What? But I have to, you know I can't just.."

"oh. Relax sweetie! " he touched my lips with his fingers. I starred up at him. What was I gonna do?

A half an hour later I found my self in his car. I sat in his back seat, with him beside me. Two other guys sat in the front. We were driving, I didn't know were we where, cause they had sealed the windows. "You know Samantha, I wanna have some fun with you tonight".

"Sure you do". I tried not to look to disgusted at him. I looked at the window, even though I knew I wouldn't see anything. Than I noticed the door wasn't locked. I turn to look in the front, we were driving 100 miles an hour. I turn to look over at the guy beside me. He saw me and gave me a smile. I half smiled back, and quickly turned away. I didn't now go trough whatever "fun" he had planed. I moved fast, took my seat belt and I opened the door. "Stop" He yelled and tried to grab me, but I fell out. I rolled around sometimes. It really hurt my back. I got up as fast as I could, and walked of the road. People in the cars, had to stop, so I could get over. It wasn't that many cars so no accident a cured. I turn around, and saw the car I'd been also stopped. I ran as fast as I could in to the forest that was there.

I stopped by a three a little while later, and took a break. Some seconds later I started to run again. When I got out of the forest I recognized where I was. It wasn't far away from home.

I went home and got into some other clothes, no one needed to see my new scars! And well, I'd worn these since yesterday. I did it fast, cause I wasn't so sure if I was safe here. My mom was gonna leave for Texas today, she was probably half way there. When I was ready I got out of the house, and ran again. Sometimes I walked, cause I was so tiered. I probably wouldn't get to bushwell before iCarly was done. I looked at my phone, twenty minutes!

**Carly's POV: **

I was so stressed! Twenty minutes until we were gonna start. I was walking around I circles. "Carly! Relax. She's gonna show." Freddie told me. "How do you know that, huh, huh how?" I said all worked up. he jumped back a little. " look she's never missed one before! Well, not on intentionally. " I calmed down a little.

"yeah, yeah you're right. She'll be here".

Gibby walked in the door, "Hey guys you wanna know who I just met?"

"NO!" I screamed.

"Well sorry for thinking you would know about meeting Tom Cruise!"

Gibby walked by me and Freddie. I looked at Freddie. No way he'd met Tom Cruise!. I though to myself, and didn't really give it another though.

Ten minutes past, still not here.

Five more minutes past, and she was still not here! Oh no. she's not coming! Oh man..

"Freddie! She's not coming!"

"well, just wait two more minutes!"

"and what if she doesn't show?"

"Than.. Than we can ask Spencer? I mean he did it before."

"I.. I guess so, I mean he said he didn't have a life earlier." Why did Sam have to wonder of? Why? I mean I get she didn't wanna face Freddie, but this was getting a little far off.

**Sam's POV:**

I was walking very slowly know! I knew it was a risk, but I was really tired.

A car stopped beside me. My eyes got bigger, no please not again! I turn to see who it was. T-bo!

"Sam? Watcha doing here? Ar'nt you supposed to be on that web thing you do?"

I was relived, but still bummed I wouldn't make the show. "yeah, I am."

"You want a lift?" I didn't need to think twice. "YES!" I got in the car and he drove of.

**Carly's POV:**

Two minutes past. She still were not her.

"Freddie?"

"I'll go ask him." Freddie said a little sad. I nicked.

Two minutes later, Spencer and Freddie were back in the studio. He'd said he do, he felt a little guilty for letting Sam go.

I told him everything he had to do. He said he was ready, but I didn't think he was.

"ten seconds!" Freddie said. Me and Spencer got ready. I was still hoping that some miracle would happen and Sam would show.

Freddie looked a little sad himself. "in five, four, tree, two." Than he pointed the finger at us.

"Hey I'm Carly" I smiled.

"And I'm Spencer" He smiled as well.

"Who's not supposed to be here!" we all turn around. It was Sam! I felt so relived. She stood by the door, and she had changed clothes! We were all a little surprised.

"Yeah! Spencer get out of here!" I said.

"but, what. I.. just.. ah.. okay".. Spencer said and walked down. Sam walked over to me and stood beside me, and we could really start the show.

**Sam's POV: **

"Well that's it for this iCarly" I Said.

"See yha next time"

"When were gonna make Gibby feed a dangerous gorilla!" I said insanely.

"Don't worry that won't happen" Carly assured.

"Bye" We said simultaneously.

"And were out" Freddie said.

"Heey! You forgot about me!" Gibby came out of the back.

"Oh, right. Sorry Gib, you know, thinks just turned out to be a little longer than planed." Carly said.

"So you leave my part out!"

"Yeah, we did. " I said. This was a conversation that weren't necessary.

"Sam!" Carly gave me a mad look. "it. It just weren't that funny."

"Sorry Gib." Freddie said.

"Naah, it okay. I was to busy sending some messengers to Tasha" Gibby said. I knew he didn't really care! Than Gibby walked out the door.

"Well.." Carly said.

I was glad they hadn't asked me where I'd went to yet, but, oh no, I have to get away now.. if Carly leave now, I will be alone with Freddie!

"I'm gonna get something to eat" I said. We all walked out of the studio.. No one had stopped me yet, that felt so good. But, when I was gonna take the first step down.

"Sam?" Freddie called. No, no, no, no, no, no. I felt inside me. I was thinking of faking a smile, but that just wasn't me. "What?" I said irritated.

"um. Can I talk to you for a second?" No, please not no. please.. Not now!

"ahm.. I was gonna get something to eat!"

"that can wait Sam." Carly said to me. Great support!

"aa.. I.." Freddie could tell I didn't wanna talk, but he didn't back out. He was making this hard for me!

"Sam. I'll make you some warm chicken legs, while you talk to him okay. ? it will be ready when you're done" Carly offered.

"Well I can't wait."

"Sam stop making this so hard!" Freddie said. I really couldn't get out of this, could I?

I thought about for a few seconds.. "FINE!" I said both mad and irritated.

Carly walked down stairs, and me and Freddie walked back to the studio.

It took a while before anyone said anything.

"So." He said.

"So." I said. This was so awkward.

"Uhm.. well. You know. That day.. it was kinda sunny, with some clouds and we ate some chips and dip, and" He was staring.

"Just say the day I kissed you!" I said fast.

"okay. Fine. Well.."

**There. **** HA, gonna leave it there. So wanna know what happens next? Tune in soon :) Hope you liked it. Please review. **


	3. iTalk

**iTalk. **

_**Sam's POV:**_

_Carly walked down stairs, and me and Freddie walked back to the studio. _

_It took a while before anyone said anything. _

_"So." He said._

_"So." I said. This was so awkward. _

_"Uhm.. well. You know. That day.. it was kinda sunny, with some clouds and we ate some chips and dip, and" He was staring._

_"Just say the day I kissed you!" I said fast. _

_"okay. Fine. __Well.."_

I really didn't want this to take long. "well what?". I said.

"Sam, we don't need to hurry"

"uuh, no we don't, I have chicken waiting for me" He gave me a serious look.

"okay, fine." I gave in. it was silent for a few seconds. "Look Freddie, I don't know what came over me okay? I just had a spontaneous impulse. "

"So you're saying you aren't in love with me, but someone else?" he asked. I really wanted to say yes but, guess it was time for truth. "No, I'm saying I don't know how I feel. There is no one else, but I really do not wanna be in love with a nub." Freddie rolled his eyes, for calling him a nub. "So, there you've got it, can I go?" I started walking, but he grabbed my wrist. "wait" I turned around. "Don't you wanna know how I fell about it?"

I half smiled and laughed. "I don't need to know how you feel! I already know. "

"You do?" He gave me a confused look.

I laughed some more. "Freddie, you've been pretty clear about how you feel since the time we met." He seemed to get in now, "You're in love with Carly. I'm cool with it." I don't know why, but for some reason inside me I felt like I weren't cool with it. I waited for him to say something.

"Sam. There's something I have to tell you."

"okay, I'm listening."

"I'm not in love with Carly anymore!" this shocked me. "Actually I don't think I ever really loved her, I mean I believe it was just this child crush/love thing. " I raised my eyebrows; I didn't believe what I was hearing. Now he laughed a little "what you haven't noticed it?" I shacked my head. "mean, haven't really made a move on her in ages." I thought to my self, it was kinda true. This made me a little curious, how did he feel about the kiss? "so.. How do you feel?" I asked. Not knowing if I was going to regret it or not.

"Surprised." He said.

"Surprised? " I questioned.

"yeah." Why does he have to confuse me so! He licked his lips and continued. " Sam, you remembered the first time we ever kissed, right?"

I gave him a you-know-I-do look. He nodded. "That was the first time I ever kissed someone…" Arrh,, why does he always have to come with a lot of information, I mean I know that! That's the kinda stuff that makes me wanna hit him! Or fall asleep. ".. and that time, I felt some pretty awesome sparks, and you know I just thought it was what it would feel like when you first kiss someone. Than the second time you kissed me, which now I finally know is you twin sister, but I somehow still can't believe. That time I didn't have those sparks, and for me it just confirmed, those sparks came with the first kiss, and maybe with the person you love. When me and Carly got together, I still didn't feel those sparks, but I didn't think about it much. And know when you kissed a couple a days ago, I did feel those sparks." Really? He needed to say all that? He could have just gone with I felt sparks when you kissed me Sam.. That's just Freddie for yha. But this made me surprised, but still what have any of this with his feeling to do? "So?" I asked.

"So, I do believe there is a meaning behind it. And I would like to know what it is."

I raised one of my eyebrows. He laughed. " Sam, I do believe I have some feelings for you, but exactly how strong they are, I don't know." He said.

"okay, so, um,. Shall we just say, until both of us figure out these feelings.. We just act like normal?" I asked, I just really didn't wanna go to deep into this.

"you just want to forget everything?"

"I don't know, kinda. Just till you know, we figure this stuff."

"Sam, we can't just deny this happened. "

"arrh why not?" I complained.

"okay, listen Sam. Lets say we do act like normal, but.."

"but?.." I said a little scared to find out.

"We spend a little extra time together. Just you and I. "

Than, we heard Carly yelling down stairs. "IT'S READY!" I reacted fast, my tummy was hungry. "if I say yes, can I go?"

He rolled his eyes and smiled. "sure."

"okay than, yes." I said, and ran down stairs to get my meat.

After I'd eaten and Freddie had gone home I asked Carly if I could take a shower, which I could. Man that chicken was so good! Carly hadn't asked, but both Freddie and I could see it on her that she wanted to know what we had talked about. She was a clever girl, so she must have figured if we got together or something else big, we would tell.

This wasn't really the best shower I'd ever taken. It hurt! My bumps and scars on my back really hurt, the once I'd gotten when I jumped out of the car. The cuts on my wrist and arm didn't hurt that much, guess they've healed a bit.

When I was done I just jumped straight into my PJ's. After I got straight to bed.

_**The day after**_

**Freddie's POV:**

I was grabbing some book out of my locker, than I saw Carly and Sam arriving at their lockers so I walked over. "Hey Sam, I forgot to tell you. You have to do this little extra project, since you weren't their when we were presenting "the mood face".

"What? Aaw. Great, another thing that will slow down my life." I rolled my eyes.

The bell called, we all had English together.

Six minutes in to the period and Sam had already fallen a sleep at the desk next to me to the left.

"And know, we are gonna watch the movie… SAM!" Everybody turn to look at Sam. She slowly woke up. Sam massaged one of her eyes. "What?" she said. Than Sam and Ms. Briggs started arguing, but I didn't listen, I was to freaked out. Her sleeve was rolled up a bit on the lest side, and I swore I saw some cuts on her wrist! She dragged her sleeve over , straight after. I couldn't believe it. It must have been my sight playing tricks on me!

For the rest of the class we watched a short movie, I did not know the name of it, cause I was to focused on what I thought I'd seen.

When the class was over, we all had lunch. "Sam?" I said before she had the chance to walk out. "yeah?" she said as she turned around. "Um.. can I see you for a bit?"

"Why do you always have to pick the moments when its time for food?"

"please?"

"if you make it quick."

We waited for everyone to leave the classroom, so we would be alone.

"So? What did you hold me back for?" Sam asked.

"I don't know how to ask this."

"just do it already".

"okay Sam.. um.. back in class, I believe I notice something."

"What?"

I closed my eyes when I said this, afraid she would kick me after.

"I think I saw some cuts on your wrist." Nothing happened no response. I opened one of my eyes. I saw she stood there speechless. I opened the other eye.

"is there?" I asked.

She started laughing. "No, of caurse not."

"Sam?" I sad seriously. Than she tried to run out, but I grabbed her wrist, polled her to me, and dragged up her sleeve.

Than I saw. No I was speechless. She polled her arm away, and dragged down her sleeve again.

"Wh…whaa.. whhy?" I finally got out.

It seemed like she didn't know exactly what to say. "it's a long story."

"Sam, it's dangerous.!" I told her.

"Don't you think I know that?"

"than why?" I really didn't get why she would do this, I felt like my heart was breaking for her.

"I can't tell you"

"Sam!"

"I can't!"

"please`? I just want to help you."

She moved her mouth, but no words came out, she seemed so sad and, almost scared.

"Hey guy! You coming?" Carly called from the door. Me and Sam turned around.

"Yeah" Sam said, and walked out. I followed her.


	4. iDon't know what's going on

**Sorry it's be****en long since I've updated. Here is the next chapter: iDon't know what's going on. **

**Sam's POV: **

I can't believe Freddie found out! He's so gonna tell Carly and… I have to find out a backup story and that soon!

I was sitting in the livingroom, sketching. It didn't turn out so good though, cause I was to angry! Suddenly someone walked in the door. I got a little afraid, depending of who it would be. "Hey kiddo! You know what? I'm gonna make some dinner" my mom said, Happy! Wow.

"Mom? What are you doing her? I thought you weren't supposed to come home before next week. "

"Well, Brian had to go to this business meting." She said.

"ah, okay, but why are you in such a good mood?" My mom was walking over to the kitchen.

"I just had a 2 months anniversary"

"Wow, the longest you've ever been with someone"

"Yeah, I know" She grabbed something out of the fridge. "So I'm gonna make some dinner for us to celebrate". She said.

"Nice, but umm.. are you sure that's still is eatable?" I said looking at some rotten foodish something..

"yeah, maybe not. I'm gonna go to the store." She said walking out of the door.

"Yeah you do that." I yelled after her.

Man, so weird, can't believe MY mom would act like that. Must be faze. I rolled my eyes.

**Freddie's POV: **

I still couldn't believe why Sam would so something like that. I mean she may not have the most perfect life, but still she dose have it better than many others.

I walked into Carly's apartment. "hey Carly" I greeted.

"Hey Freddie" Carly smiled. She was sitting in the couch watching tv, but she turn it off.

"Is Sam here?"

"No, but she just called, and she's not coming over later either. "

She's not hiding at her home again is she? I thought to myself.

"Um, Carly.?"

"Yeah?"

"I.. um.. I'm not sure if I should tell you this, maybe Sam should." Carly got up from her seat. "What? You and Sam are a couple? Huh? I knew it, I totally knew it! So, how did it happened? You guys declared.." Carly went on and on, I tried stopping her. "Carly.. Carly.. CARLY"

"what?, oh yeah. I'll slow down."

"Good" I tried to think of how to say this.

"So, how did it happen?" She asked.

"first of all, me and Sam aren't a couple" She seemed a little disappointed.

"Than, what?"

"Well, in class, I noticed Sam had cuts on her wrist." This shocked her.

"what? You're sure?"

"Um, yeah. Cause I confronted her about it, and saw it again."

"Oh my god!" She started walking around in circles.

"Carly? You okay?" She stopped, and was totally freaked.

"Why would she do something like that?"

"I don't know Carly, I really don't know" I said sadly.

"Do you think that's why she isn't coming over?"she asked.

"it crossed my mind."

" we should go over there"

"You sure?"

"She's our friend, of course we should!"

"I didn't mean it like that I just.."

"Save it Freddie" Carly said leaving out the door.

I followed her.

**Sam's uncle POV:**

I was walking over to the Pucketts house, Pam had invited me over to dinner. The food will probably not be good. But it will give me time to spend with someone I love.

I rang the door bell, Pam opened. "oh hey I'm so glad you could come"

"Always" I smiled and we walked in.

We walked our way in to the kitchen, where I saw Sam sit by the table. She got even more beautiful every time I saw her. "Hey Samantha" I said. She turned around, got up from her seat and freaked.

"Wh… wha.. what are you doing here!"

"I invited him" Pam said.

"Why!"

"Because he is your fathers brother, and we haven't seen him in a while." I swear me and Samantha were just as confused over Pam's kindness.

The door bell rang again. "What, more freakish family members? " Samantha asked.

"Be good!" Pam told Samantha. And she walked out to answer the door.

"Samantha. I've missed you" I smiled, and walked closer to her.

"You saw me yesterday!" She said as she walked backwards. Than she stopped, no more room for her to go. I took some of her hair back behind her ear. "Yeah, well I love you." She seemed disgusted. "You know you should be just to this by now." I said and kissed her chick.

"Sam, we need to.." Someone walked in and saw us. I walked away from Samantha. It was two of Samantha's friends.

"What are you guys doing here?" Samantha asked her friends, with no expression on her face.

"Umm, we just need to.. um" the girl said awkwardly. Pam walked in the door as well now.

"Sam. Why don't you go with your friends and talk? I'll call you when dinner is ready" Pam said, and Samantha walked out the door with her friends.


	5. itear up

**Sorry I haven't updated sooner. I haven't been at home, got back two days ago.**

**And sorry that this chapter is not so long. Promise the next one will be at least the double. **

**As ****I was writing this, the episode where Nathan Kress is in CSI was airing in Norway for the first time. Wee.. **

**iTear up**

**Sam's POV: **

Carly, Freddie and me walked in to my room.

"Who was he?" Carly approached me.

"Who?"

"that guy who was all over you!" Freddie said.

"oh. No one."

"Sam! You've got to start talking!" Carly said getting mad.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well first, you're in love with Freddie…" I tried to get some words out, to tell I did not love him. "and he told me about your cuts!.." I knew it, I gave Freddie a oh-you're-gonna-get-it-now look. "and now you have a guy in your kitchen all over you." Carly finished.

I didn't know what to tell either one of them. I only knew I couldn't tell the truth. If I did, both of them might get hurt.

"Sam?" Freddie said worried. I felt a tear building up in one of my eyes. I tried not to let it fall. I was not gonna be weak.

"I.. I just can't tell you."

"Why not?" Carly asked frustrated.

"Sam, we want to help you! To do that we need to understand what's going on." Freddie said.

"I can take care of my self!" I said.

"Really Sam? Really?" Carly said sarcastically.

"You're hurting you're self! Do you call that taking care of yourself?" Freddie told me. I turned away for a bit, so they wouldn't see the tear fall down.

"And who was that guy in the kitchen?" Carly asked.

"Mmm.. my uncle. "

"You're uncle?" Carly asked not truly believing me. Probably because of the way he was all over me.

"Yeah, you know he missed me. "

"Ahh.. okay.." Carly said not to sure.

I started looking around in my room, hoping my mom would call soon.

"Sam. Just please tell us why." Freddie said.

I looked at him. "Because, I misbehaved". Neither Carly or Freddie seemed to understand that. "Sam, you misbehave all the time! Beating people, torturing Freddie, taking food from others. And you don't care about it. " Carly said.

"Yeah, I know. But this is different."

"how?" Freddie asked. I felt more tears building up, thinking of everything I'd been trough.

I don't know what made me tell, but something in his eyes mad me tell. I just somehow knew I could trust him. "Because I kissed you." Carly and Freddie was both shocked, they shared a look, and looked back at me. "What?" Carly said.

"Sam." Both of them walked closer to me.

"Sam, you know, just because you have feelings for someone you supposedly hate, doesn't it have to mean you have to cut your self." Carly said, stroking my shoulder.

"It's not like that."

"than how is it Sam?" Carly asked.

"That part I can't tell" Another tear fell down, but only Carly saw. She hugged me. "okay, I trust you. Just don't ever cut your self again." I thought that true, it was hard, how could I promise that? Maybe I could, because if I ever cut my self, it would not be _again_…

"okay." I said. She smiled and hugged me again.

I had almost forgotten Freddie was here, he'd been so quiet.

"Freddie?" I said.

"huh?"

"what's up?"

"oh, it just, I never really though you would have this vulnerable side." He said.

I laughed a bit, "well just don't hold it against me. And still you're gonna pay for telling Carly!".

"right.." He said a little scared. Carly laughed.

"SAM!" my mother called.

"well, it dinner time." I really did not want to eat right now. Wow, that sounded weird coming from me! Well, it's my uncle's fault I don't want to eat with him.

We walked down. Carly walked in front of me and Freddie.

"Sam?" Fredde said.

"yeah?"

"Um, you know how we talking about spending more time together?"

"yes"

"Well, maybe we could do something tomorrow?"

"sure, but you'll pay" He rolled his eyes. "sure."

We walked in to the kitchen. I saw my uncle, who smiled at me, urrh, that icky smile. I hate it!. Why did my mom have to invite him.?

"You guys wanna stay for dinner.?" Mom asked. OMG! Mom can't be that kind! Carly whispered in my ear. "is it safe?"

"Well, she bought it today." I whispered back.

"Maybe this will be the only chance we have with nice-momma-Sam." Freddie whispered to.

"So?" Mom smiled. I almost couldn't take it.

"sure" Carly said smiling back, hoping she wouldn't get food poison.

Eating dinner was awkward, My uncle always came with inappropriate comments to me, and I'm sure Carly and Freddie noticed them to. It didn't seem like none of them liked him either. Mom was to busy smiling to her self, thinking of her boyfriend.

I was so happy when my uncle left, but it took a while for him to say goodbye to me. He hugged me a long time, kissed my chick plenty of times. I believe both Carly and Freddie noticed something was of about him. After he left, I went with Carly and Freddie to bushwell, and I slept over at Carly's.


	6. iGo out

**Hey guys, I wanted to post this chapter, long ago, but never came to it. But hope you like!**

**iGo out**

Sam's POV:

I woke up two hours late for school that morning. I didn't really care; I'd been late a thousand times before. I yawned, and got out of the bed, but some clothes on and went to the kitchen.

I got some fat cakes, and I left for school.

Freddie's POV:

I was sitting in history class, Sam was supposed to be here, but she wasn't.

I bend over to Carly sitting in front of me. "Have you heard anything from Sam today?" I whispered.

"No "she replied.

I got back in my sitting position. Why couldn't she just be here? I was actually looking forward to go out with her.

After class, me and Carly went to our lockers to get our books for the next class.

When I got my book, I could hear Carly talking to someone with her locker.

"slept in" Sam said. Sam!

I walked over to them. "hey girls. Sam you're late."

"when aren't I?"

"got a point there."

"So, you guys wanna come over tonight, so we can figure out what we can do on the next iCarly?" Carly asked.

"I've got nothing better to do, so sure." Sam answered.

"Cool, see you guys letter." And Carly walked away.

"Nothing better to do?" I said to Sam.

"yeah, I don't."

"What about you're plans with me!"

"it's not before to night, chill man! … or boy"

I rolled my eyes, than she slapped my chin, and walk away.

"hey!" She turned around. "what was that for?" I asked her irritated.

"I haven't slapped you in a while, so just thought you needed one. No charge."

I didn't reply, and she continued walking.

Six hours later

Sam's POV:

Me and Freddie sat together at Groovie Smoothies. It was awkward, cause I didn't now if I was supposed to think this was a date or not. I thought not, cause this was not very fancy to be a date, but still I tried to behave nicely.

"So.." he said.

"so." I replied.

"You like you're smoothie?" he asked.

Normally I would shout at him, because he should now this is my favourite smoothe!

"of course." I smiled awkwardly.

We both turned away. 'man this is going baaad' I thought.

Five minutes went, and it was still awkward. So I almost yelled out.

"This isn't working!" some people turned around. "like we're the most interesting part of your life guys! TURN AROUND!" I told them, and they did, a little afraid.

Freddie laughed. "what?" I asked him.

"that's one of the things I admire and like about you. You're not afraid to speak your mind. Even tough you can go to far some times."

"I'm not sure I'm supposed to take the as a compliment or insult."

"compliment, defiantly!" he said.

"Good, other wise, you know what you would be getting."

"right" he said, both a little scared and laughing. I smiled.

"so.. you said that was one of the things you admire, what are the others?" I asked.

"We can spare them for later"

"what about now!" I gave him one of my Sam-ich-serious stares.

"oh, ok. I guess I could tell you one more thing."

I sat waiting for him to tell me, it seemed like he had to build himself up to say it.

"I admire how you're not afraid to try something new."

I laughed a bit, "that's it? That's what you used such a tiny-long tine to say?"

"okey, fine. I…I like it when your eyes smile" I didn't fully understand, and he saw that.

"when you smile, which is a beautiful smile…" he stopped, and froze. He probably didn't realize what he just said. 'he things I'm beautiful!' I thought, and smiled trying not to laugh.

"umm.. well, umm.. when you smile, you're eyes are apart of them, and it's like they just glitter. And I like that." I still smiled tying not to laugh, but it was hard. He must still be so embarrassed letting that one bit slip.

"You want another smoothie?" He asked me.

"Sure"

Freddie went to get me another smoothie. I was glad the awkwardness finally was kinda over.

"Sammy" someone said behind me, I was still smiling when I turned around, even though I hated being called Sammy.

'Oh no!' I thought to my self, and my smile faded.

"what do you think you're doing?" he asked.

"I'm here with a friend."

"it looks like he is more than a friend" I didn't know what to say, cause I knew if my uncle knew about this, he would punish me bad. "You won't tell him! Will you?" I asked the man. He was my uncle best friend, but still he had a much nicer side, and did sometimes try to help me.

"of course I won't, but I think you should lay low, I mean if he do catch you, it will probably be worse, than when he found you kissing him."

"right." I just couldn't believe all this was happening to me! I hated it. Teddy (which was his name,) started to leave. "hey, thanks for warning me." He turned around, "no problem" he said and walked out.

Freddie's POV:

I walked over to get some new smoothies. 'man I'm so embarrassed, how could I let that slip!'

There was a man infront of me, who used forever! I don't think he could speak proper English. This 'hang-out' thing with Sam was actually starting to turn out okay.

Finally, my turn to order. I ordered a strawberryflat for Sam, and i tried one of the new flavours 'skyhaven', it contained blueberry, banana, and some other fruit I hadn't heard of.

While T-bo was making them, I turned around to look at Sam, but she wasn't there alone. It was an older man, probably in his 30ties, talking to her. She looked a bit sad, but I don't think it was because of him. I just stood watching them, until "here you go" it was T-bo, he had finished the smoothies. "thanks" I said, grabbed them, and walked over to Sam. The older man was gone.

"here you go" I have Sam her Smoothie.

"thanks" she took it, and started drinking.

I took the chance asking her who the man was. "umm, Sam, I was just wondering who.."

Sam cut me off.

"I think we should go, you now, Carly is probably waiting for us"

"Already?"

"Yes, come one" She got up, and started walking to the door, before I could stop her. I had no choice but to follow her.

I never did got the answer of who the man was that night.

Me, Sam and Carly worked until night with bits for iCarly.

**And that's the end of this chapter, to give you guys a little spoiler: **

**The next chapter will start with Sam being at her uncle's house, she's been drugged and is tied up. **

**Please R&R **


	7. iSay yes

**Hallo everyone, i know it's been long since an update.**

**But I just were not able to wright it. I'm sure all of you heard about the bomb attack in Norway, capital Oslo, and people getting shot in Utøya. **

**I live in Norway so this have been really emotional for me. **

**iSay yes**

Sam's POV:

I'm was not feeling well, I opened my eyes slowly. It was a very bright light, so it took some time to get used to. I noticed I was sitting in some kind of a chair.

The room was little, and empty, the only other thing in the room was another chair. The wall's where a yellow/brown kind of colour.

I felt like I was gonna puke, I was feeling every kind of pain all over my body.

My hands where tied up behind my back, and my feet where tied up to the chair. I wasn't sure if this was mine or not. I tried to get loose, but I couldn't. I looked down my body, and saw that my clothes were all covered in blood and dirt.

"I'm sorry this had to happen to you dear" Someone said behind me, and I knew who it was. My uncle.

"really?" I said in between of angry and scared.

"of course Samantha, I never wanted it to come this far. And I lost a friend here as well."

He walked around me, and stopped and looked at me face to face.

"what do you mean?" I asked.

"oh that's right. You'll probably not remember because of the drug"

He grabbed the other chair in the room, and sat across from me.

"what drug?" I said still scared and angry.

"umm.. that date-rape drug or what's it's name." he said viciously.

'_oh my god, did he rape me?' _I thought shocked. I felt like I was gonna cry.

"Samantha" I looked at him. "when Sebatian told me what Liam or really you should've not done. I got very, very angry."

Sebatian and Liam where both worked for my uncle. Liam was the guy who warned me at the Groovie Smoothies yesterday. (well I think it was yesterday.)

He continued talking "How could you go out with that boy? Really! You told me you didn't have feelings for him. " I turned away.

"LOOK AT ME!" he screamed at me. I slowly turned to him.

"I warned you, when you two shared that kiss, you should've stopped right there! YOU HEAR ME?"

"yes" I whispered.

"I didn't hear you!"

"YES" I yelled to his face.

"Do you love him?"

"what?"

"you heard what I said."

Truly I didn't know what to answer, I was afraid not knowing what he would do.

"TELL ME!"

"NO. no I don't" I told him.

"than why are you and him getting closer? You know how stupid that was? I killed a friend here"

'_oh no, Liam!' _I thought, and a flash of my uncle shooting him in the head appeared in front of me, and his blood covered me.

"we're friends been for a long time, and when are you gonna let me out?"

"really? Friends Sam? Last I heard you hated him. And did I her you 'let you go, let you go'? " he stared laughing.

"but"

"Samantha, do you really think I can let you go? I don't know if I can trust you yet."

I looked to the floor, a tear fell down and hit it.

"Samantha, I love you, when I see you getting close with somebody else I…I just can't let you go, I love you to much, always have"

Another tear fell down on the floor.

"Samantha, when I came back for you that first time you saw your two friends dancing in that smoothie place together, they never cared about you."

That was it for me, I couldn't take it anymore.

"yes they do! You know I'm only 'with you' to protect them, since you tried to kill Carly when we were out on that window platform thingy and you cut the line so she would fall and Freddie with that taco truck."

"Right Sam. And you know I would gladly do it again."

I didn't know what to say anymore, I was to shocked about Liam, scared of my uncle, and angry for my friends. Suddenly he grabbed my wrist and pressed his tomb finger down. It hurt bad! I looked down at my arm, there was an other cut. "you know someone will come looking for me!" I told him

"yes I know, and last time they used five months. Who knows maybe we can run away together. You know you don't wanna stay in school and do that boring stuff either way "

" Yes I do!"

"yeah right, but you know what I may know a way we can solve this."

"how?" I asked not really wanting to know the answer.

"marry me."

"WHAT? Never!"

"Yes, you will. We won't get married yet of course, I mean you're only 17 I do have some limits. "

I was really discussed.

"look, will be engaged, that way I can trust you to not become closer with anyone else anymore. If you do I will kill that kid or someone else standing in our way"

I couldn't believe this! The worse thing was that I knew he would kill them, he killed Liam, and he did tried to kill my Carly, Freddie and my father. There was only one thing to answer, if I was gonna protect my friends.

"okay" I answered whispering.

"what did you say sweetie?"

"okay, yes I will!"

A huge smile occurred on his face. He kissed me on the chick and started walking out. "Wait!" I screamed after him.

"what?"

"Let me go!"

"oh I will, but first we have to have a nice dinner to celebrate" he opened the door behind me. "I'll get you some new clothes as well. Love you" he said and walked out.

Carly's POV:

Me and Freddie just arrived home to my place from school.

"Can't believe she weren't at school today" I said

"yeah, including those two days after the lock-in she's been a lot gone. I'm worried." Freddie replied.

We sat down and turned on the TV.

"A local man, found dead in the middle of the road last night. A witness told us he saw someone dropping him out of a car. This man died by a bullet shot, not by the fall he got after being dropped. " a picture turned up on the screen. "His name is Liam Nilson"

'_oh my god, this is awful, who would do something like that.'_

Freddie grabbed the remote, and turned the TV of.

"yeah I know, awful" I said to Freddie.

"No it's not that, and yes it was. That guy, I saw him yesterday, he was talking to Sam when we were at the Groovie Smoothie.

"What? Poor Sam, if she knew him no wonder why she wasn't at school today."

"I guess" Freddie said, but it seemed like he was thinking something else.

The door opened, it was Sam!

Me and Freddie ran over to her.

"Sam we heard, I'm so sorry" I said and gave her a hug.

"What?" she questioned.

"Your friend Liam, they talked about him on the news"

"but, how did… ?"

"I told her, I was you two yesterday." Freddie.

It wasn't before now, I saw how awful she looked, her hair was really bushy and her face was dirty, only her clothes looked clean, like she'd just changed.

We walked over to the kitchen, and Freddie and Sam sat down. I went over to get Sam something to eat. I heard Sam and Freddie talking in the back.

"Are you alright" Freddie asked.

"NO"

"I now losing your friend is must be hard"

"I haven't eaten since FOREVER!"

I imagined that Freddie would roll his eyes now.

"Sam please. Have something else happened you look…"

"Nothing's happened. Just stay out of my life !"

I turned around, I wanted to see what was happening. Freddie looked at me for a sec.

"arrgh you know what I mean!"

I'm sure Freddie didn't get it, cause I sure didn't, but neither of us dared to asked. Must be hard losing someone close to you.

I gave Sam her food, which she eat in under a minute so had to make more.

Sam slept at my place that night. I was worried about her, the cutting and now losing someone she knows. Poor girl. Hopefully her life will turn around soon.


	8. iRegret what's happening

iRegret what's happening.

The next day

Sam's POV:

I was sitting on the bench in the corridor of the school. Carly was trying to know some history to my brain. We were gonna have a history test in a few minutes. Of course I hadn't bothered to read, not like I had the time either.

The bell rang, and we went to class. When we got there, we got the papers to our test at once, and started. I looked at the questions, answered with some stupid sentences, and fell asleep at the table.

Carly woke me up a few minutes later, by poking me. She gave me a look that said you-have-to-take-this-test. I mimed "fine". And took another look at the paper, yawned and tried my best.

After the class finished, it was lunch hour which was the best thing about school!

Me and Carly got some from the cafeteria, she paid for me. She couldn't resist after I gave her my "please" look.

When we sat down at one of the tables, I saw Freddie coming, he saw me and Carly and walked straight to us.

I really didn't want to face him, I couldn't really tell him I can never be seen alone with him, cause I'm engaged to a psychopath. But I would have to tell him something, and alone.

He sat down, "hey ladies"

"hey" Carly replied. I just looked at my food while eating it.

"glad to see, something will never change" Freddie said.

I drooped the food I was holding, and chewed the rest I had in my mouth.

"Freddie can I talk to you?" I said.

"sure, what's up?"

"privet"

Freddie looked at Carly for a sec, I looked at her too, than back at Freddie. I grabbed his wrist, and said. "arrrh, just come already!"

We took to steps to the door, but I went back to get the rest of my food.

We went outside to talk. I looked around to see if my uncle, or someone working for him was around. I didn't see any.

"so?" Freddie said.

"Freddie, remember when we where at the groovie smoothies the other day?

"yeah of course, what about it?"

"well, when we where there. I realised something"

"what?"

"I hate you"

"right."

"I'm not kidding Freddie. You and me could never be. I'm not into you"

"than why'd you kiss me?"

"I thought I liked you."

There was a little awkward silence. Freddie actually looked hurt.

"sorry" I said.

"it's cool. If you and me ever ended up, we probably not last for a week anyways, so"

"right, I knew you'd understand" I faked smiled. I was really hurt, I didn't want to do this. The truth was, I could see my self being with him, not that I could even confess it though.

"so, shall we go back in side?" I asked.

"right, sure" Freddie said, starring at the ground.

We walked back inside. I really regret doing this, I hated doing this. It made me realise what's happening with my uncle, is really happening. It felt like I was saying goodbye to love.

Freddie's POV:

Sam just broke up with me! Before we even went out and did something special. I just can't believe it. I think I was falling for her, and know I'll never get the change to be with her.

We walked beside each other, which was a really awkward walk. We met Carly on the way back, she and I went together to class, Sam had to go to the principals office, and discus what she'd done wrong this week.

For the first time ever, I couldn't pay attention to the teacher. I was only thinking about Sam. I should've noticed Sam, how special she is, in a weird way. Pretty, fun to be with, funny. But almost since the day I got to know her and Carly, I only had eyes for Carly. If only, I'd see how wrong she is for me, before I saved her life, and we had a thing.

Maybe Sam could be mine by now, if I had just realised how I feel sooner.

A door closed behind me, a lot of the students turned around, it was Sam. She gave me a half smile, and went over to the teacher to give him a note. Probably from Ted, telling she's been excused. After, she sat down in the chair in front of me. Suddenly something popped in my head, Sam's friend, who died. When I had seen them together, it seemed intense.

"Sam?" I whispered.

"yeah" she whispered back.

"that friend of your, who died. was there ever something between you two?"

"WHAT!" Sam said a little to load, so everyone turned around.

"I just don't understand what's your talking about" Sam said to the teacher.

"right, well I'll tell it one more time, this is a difficult subject." The teacher started telling whatever he was talking about over again.

"what do you mean" Sam whispered to me

"Well, since what you told me earlier. I thought maybe it had something to do with him"

"Freddie, No it's nothing to do with him, and he's like 30 years old, that would be disgusting. I didn't even know him that well, he was a friend of my uncle. "

"oh, so you really don't like me than? More as a friend?"

Sam didn't answer my question, I thought maybe she didn't hear it, or maybe she didn't want to hurt me again. Well that would be weird; Sam has never cared if she hurt anyone, so guess she didn't hear it.

Sam's POV

The school day was finally over. This day have lasted forever! I stood by my locker, putting my books in. Than somebody walk up behind me "Hey Samantha, I wanted to…." He didn't finish that sentence. I freak out, when I heard him call me Samantha, I couldn't take it. My Uncle had ruined my life, and now he's here at school! I hit the man, he went to the ground. That's when I saw it wasn't my Uncle; it was Mr. Armstrong the math teacher. People started to gather around. Carly and Freddie where two of them, I didn't know what to do. I just ran out of there, out of school, and away. I couldn't believe I just hit a teacher! I found a quiet place, sat down and I started to cry. To much was happening and I couldn't take it.

I cried for what felt like hours, my hands caught the tears out of my eyes. Awhile later, I stopped crying, I was still an emotional mess, but I kept my self together. I walked home, which was no good idea. My mom was home! The school had of course called her, and she was yelling at me. I didn't respond to her, because truly I couldn't make out what she said. I sat in the couch, while she stood over me. "disappointed… More like your sister…. How could you…. Better daughter… arrested… you're suspended." Was the things I registered in my brain. When she finally stopped yelling, I went to my room. I packed some stuff, and went out my window, cause I did not want to be home right now. I didn't want to be anywhere right now.

I looked at the clock on my ipod. (I left my phone at home, cause I knew people would be trying to reach me.) The was 10 am, I was really tiered, I'd been walking for god knows how long. I saw a bench, and sat down, slowly I fell down in a laying position. I found a jacket in my bag, and took it over me to give some heath, it didn't work that good, cause soon the rain started to fall. It took ages, but I feel asleep there, in that cold, uncomfortable place.

**Hey everyone, this is the last chapter I will put up, until I come back hope from my ****vacation. Which will be in two weeks. Just so you know.**

**The next chapter will be super long! Sam will confess some secrets. **


	9. iTell the story

**hey ev****eryone, so I'm back from vacation in Portugal, and I'm here with a new chapter. This chapter will be really long, so hope you'll bear to read it all ;) **

Itell the story

Carly's Pov:

"I'm worried, she HIT the teacher! I mean something must be up, even for her that's extreme." I said.

"I know, we need to talk to her as soon as we can." Freddie said.

"It's iCarly today, so she will turn up for that at least right?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course she will, but she will probably be late, so will have to talk to her after."

Some one came in the front door, we both hoped it would be Sam, but it wasn't. It was Spencer. "Hey look at this! I got it while shopping for groceries." He said really excited.

"what is it?" I asked.

"No idea!"

"what are you gonna use it for?" Freddie asked.

"No idea" Spencer said still excited.

Me and Freddie both gave him a weird look.

"That's what's makes it so cool! 'A thing used for nothing' Isn't that just awesome?"

Neither me and Freddie said anything, we just laughed.

After a little while, I asked "So, where are the groceries? "

"the groceries?" Spencer said in a weird tone.

"yes?"

He stated to walk slowly backwards to the door. "Well, actually it's a really funny story…i.. um…bye"

Spencer had opened the door quickly behind him, and ran out.

"He forgot them." I said, and looked to find something else to do.

"again" Feddie said.

"iCarly is in a half hour, why does she always have to be late!" I said to Freddie.

"Carly, do I have to calm you down every time? I you know she's coming." Freddie told me.

"I know! But you know, but she's been acting weird the last couple of days, like she's scared. And we haven't done anything to help her yet."

Freddie didn't say anything, but he showed he knew what I was talking about.

I sat down on the floor, just thinking. I have to find out what's going on with her, this can't go on! She's my best friend. I wanted to cry, but kept strong.

"Carly?" Freddie said and joined me at the floor. I looked up at him.

"I know Sam's been acting weird okay? It's… I… I can't explain it but, I'm worried about her, just like you must be. It hurts me seeing her like that, I want to just hold her and tell her everything is going to be okay, but I can't. I don't even know what it is. "

A tear fell down on my chin. "me to". We hugged.

I felt a little better, but I couldn't let this go on. We pooled out from the hug, Fredde smiled at me and got up. "come on, lets go down stairs and get something to drink"

I smiled and got up as well.

20 minutes later.

Freddie's Pov:

Me and Carly were sitting by the table at the kitchen. Sam still hadn't showed.

Spencer came home like ten minutes ago, and now he got out of his room.

"you guys wanna see my new sculpture? It all purple and it big, and…." Spencer got cut of.

"NO" me and Carly said in union.

"fine, your miss" Spencer said a little depressed.

"Sorry Spencer, we just… Sam hasn't showed up yet. " Carly said.

Someone open the door, it was Sam. "Well she's here now" Spencer said.

Both me and Carly got up and looked at her. She seemed sick or something. She looked horrible. We ran over to her.

"Sam. You okay?" I said.

"yeah I'm fine! Why wouldn't I be?" she said.

"You look horrible!" Carly said.

"gee, thanks!" Sam said.

"Sam" I said.

She looked me in the eyes. "I just couldn't sleep last night, been trying all day."

I don't know how, but I knew that wasn't true.

"So are we gonna get ready for the show or what?" Sam said, trying to cover her weakness.

No one said anything.

"You wanna see my sculpture now?" Spencer said behind us.

"SPENCER!" me and Carly said in union again.

"come on" Carly said and started walking upstairs, I followed her, and Sam followed behind me.

When we were half way up I turned around, Sam was struggling up the stairs.

I walked down to her. " Sam you're not well"

"Yes I am! I just… "

"Sam do not say anything more unless it's the truth!" I said.

She didn't reply. I turn to look up at Carly, than back at Sam. She looked so weak, her eyes were red, and she couldn't stand up straight. I couldn't take it. I took one of my hands around her waist, and the other one under her knees, and I carried her bridle style.

"I can walk my self!" Sam said.

"really?" she didn't reply, and I started walking up the stairs.

"Wow, I have to say Fredpus, you're stronger than I thought." Sam said, I just laughed.

Good to know the training is working.

I carried Sam to Carly's room, and put her in the bed.

"We can't do iCarly tonight!" Carly said.

"Yes we can!" Sam insisted.

"Sam! You're not well."

"I don't care"

"Sam.."

"Don't _'Sam' _me like that!"

"We can't do iCarly" I said.

"but.." Sam tried to speak.

"we can't! but, I figured out a way to not cancel it. "

"what do you mean?" Carly asked.

"we just use all the stuff we've previously recorded, I'll just add it a little and will make it work and well Carly you can speak in the beginning and than just tell them what's gonna happen."

"okay" Carly said.

"Not okay!" Sam said mad.

"Sam you don't have a say in this!" I said. She crossed her arms, and I could tell she was mad.

"we're doing this for you Sam" Carly said.

I looked at the clock, "3 minutes until we start."

"okay, come on lets go." Carly said, and we started walking out the room. I turned around when I was standing with the door. I looked at Sam, she was faced the other way. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't find the words.

"Freddie?" Carly called. Sam turned around and saw me, I gave her a quick smile, before I walked out.

Sam's POV:

While sitting in Carly's room a lot of things crossed my mind. The main thing was that I knew I couldn't tell them, it may hurt them to know. They would be so freaked, and come with all these suggestions to how I could get away, and truly I thought them all, an non will work.

I was also thinking about Teddy, or Liam which was the named he'd changed it to, but I had never called him anything but Teddy. He had died for me, I felt a lot of people had been hurt because of me, and I couldn't help it.

A part of me wanted to tell Carly and Freddie, I needed to, but it would be hard, and I didn't want them to know that part of my life.

So the other part of me told me to get away, but being so weak that I was right now, I knew that I couldn't.

Carly and Freddie came in a couple of minutes later. My heart was beating fast, I knew they would drag it out of me.

"it's done" carly said.

"Now all the videos we've pre-recorded will be playing" Freddie said.

I didn't reply to any of them.

They sat down on each side of me, Freddie on the left and Carly in the other. They where looking at me, waiting.

"Sam you need to tell us!" Carly said worried.

I bit my lip. "Sam we need to understand" Freddie said.

I didn't like how both of them said Sam first in their sentences.

"I know" I finally said, "but it's hard"

"The longer you wait, the harder it will be". Carly said.

Freddie's POV:

I was sitting by Sam's side, so did Carly on the other. Sam was going to tell her story, no matter how long it will take.

I could see on her face that it hurt her, she looked so sad, I didn't like seeing her like that. I would rather have her making me play with her, that evolved me getting hurt.

I didn't wanna force her to tell, when I saw her like that, but I.. we needed to know. We wanted to help her,

"Sam" I said, she looked over at me.

"you're not weak, just because you can't handle what's happing to you on your own."

I could see she still was her self under all that sadness, cause I could tell she wanted to say something like she was handling it, or was taking care of it, but didn't bother.

"fine" she said.

Sam took a deep breath. "it's a long story"

"we've got time" Carly said.

"I guess it started when I was seven"

"it? what? The cutting? You can't tell be it started then! What? What was it?" Carly said fast and frustrating.

"just let her tell the story!" I said.

"Right"

Sam's POV:

This was it, now my story will be reviled.

"When I was seven, my uncle first made contact since I was little." I stopped, it would be so icky to tell this. "please don't make any weird faces or be surprised when I tell, it will just make this harder."

"will try" Freddie said, and Carly agreed.

"okay. At once I met him, I didn't like him at all. He was always smiling and giving me these smirks. After that meeting I didn't see him for a while, but than one day he just showed up one day at school to pick me up. He picked me up again the week after, and the week after that, and the week after that. It had started to be a regular thing, I hated to get in the car with, every time he was getting more freaky, and disgusting. He was giving me these comments that I didn't fully understand back than, but made me feel uncomfortable.

One day he'd come early to pick me up, and he saw me sitting with this guy, Henry. Henry did have a crush on me, everybody was saying so, so when he had tried to touch my hand to hold it, my uncle freaked. He carried me away at once, and brought me back to his place.

He told me it was bad of me to let him do that, that Henry wasn't meant for me. He sat down beside me, really close, and told me I should be spending less time with Henry.

I did what I was told, cause my uncle scared me and I didn't want to get in trouble. But still every few times I did hang out with Henry, I would always she an adult watching me. They where trying to hide, but after some time, I started to notice them.

One day we where at the park and Henry asked me 'I know we're friends, but I like like you, and I want to know if you feel the same way.' I wasn't sure, which I told him.

When I got home that day, no one was home, but my uncle. He came off behind me, whit his creepy voice, 'Samantha' he said. 'You know, I care about you a lot, more than you probably know. I told you to stay away from Henry!' he didn't give me time to say anything, he'd grabbed me and found a knife, and than. He..he cut my wrist for the first time."

I knew I'd told them not to freak, but this didn't help Carly right now.

"I'm sorry, it's just. I can't believe it. We thought you.." Carly said.

"I know. And please if I'm gonna tell you everything I can't be stopping like this."

Carly nodded and let me continue.

"He did it more than once, every time he thought I miss behaved he did it, and a few hours later he did it he always was this person _he _found sweet. I didn't tell any one he scared me to much, I didn't dare.

I had knife I took with me to school everyday, it didn't do anything, but it made me feel safe at school at least, not that it would work anyway. Than a day after school, a teacher bummed in to me, and the knife fell to the floor. I ended up telling her everything, next thing I knew she was dead 5 days later. My uncle didn't want this to happen again, so he kidnapped me.

He did try to get intimate with me, but he told me that he did have some respect, I didn't wanna sleep with me until I was eighteen.

Whenever he was out, he locked me in his closet. He also threatened me, hit me and scared me. This went on for like a half year. The only person that made me feel better was Teddy, which you might know as Liam."

Both Carly and Freddie was surprised many times, but I tried to ignore them, I didn't look at them at all while talking.

"A person walking by the house, one day heard my screaming, it was one of the guys working for my uncle's mistake to leave the window open.

When the police came, my uncle had already escaped. I never told anyone who the person was that kidnapped me, I told them I didn't really know who he was.

The police told me I would be safe, but I didn't feel that way. I never felt safe, so my mom finally made the decision to move to Seattle, where I met you guys. I never really thought of him, and I never saw him again, until two years ago. It was the 'girls choice dance' I'd just been at Gibby's and I was walking to the Groovie Smothies."

I knew both Carly and Freddie was remembering back to that day, I had never told them, I walked in to see them dancing, and now I had to, but I would tell it as it was no big deal.

"On the way, some one was calling my full name behind me, many times. I turned around every time, but never saw anyone. Than when I was just with the Groovie Smoothies, he appeared.

Everything that he'd ever done to me came back trough my head. He told me how much he'd missed me and blah blah blah.. I tried to get away, but he was holding my wrist. He than told me 'if you want to go, go, but I'm the only one who really cares about you Samantha. Your two little web friends currently don't care about you. They only feel sorry for you. '

'yeah right like you know anything' I told him, and got loose from his grip, and started to walk away. 'the moment you're not around, they totally just care about them selves.' He said. Than I walked in to the Groovie Smothies, and I… I saw you two…."

I tried so hard not to look at them, and keep calm, but telling this story, was so hard for me, and I didn't want them to get hurt.

"…dancing. And I didn't really want to interrupt to I.. eh.. walked out. My uncle was still there, and told me he told me so. I ran away from him.

Some weeks later, when you and me where fighting Carly. When we were out on that window washer platform, a man working for my uncle cut the line… And.. a few weeks after that, another drove over you Freddie. He did it on purpose, told me he'd do anything to get through those things who stood between us. I did stoop him at that point, told him I wouldn't date anyone, wouldn't disappoint him or anything. I hated it, but I needed to protect you guys."

I was suddenly finding it hard to breath, after telling this story for so long, I was cracking. I felt tears wanted to break.

"Sam.." Freddie said. I turned around slowly and looked at him. He pooled out his hand and took it over me to comfort me, and snuggled into him. A little while later I continued telling the story.

"So he laid back of you two. He turned up like whenever, and it felt like torture. I feel so weak when I'm near him, like I'm not able to move a muscle. When I.. umm…kissed you… he was really disappointed and he.. cut me. Which you guys figured out. "

"But we didn't know it wasn't you.. oh Sam…" Carly said. I looked at her, a tear dropped from my eye.

"He didn't trust me anymore, well it's not like he ever did, but..

I'd had enough of him, I didn't wanna feel helpless anymore, I wanted to live like normal, no worries. I tried to do it my way which made him madder. He found out that I'd been alone with Freddie at the Groovie Smoothies. Teddy hadn't told him, and other man working for him did, and so… he.. killed him…"

Another tear fell down.

"He was his best friend, and he just killed him without even blinking. He didn't want me to come any neared you Freddie, so he wanted to either kill you, or take me away, which he almost did. But.. I made a deal with him…."

This was the hardest and the last part to tell. This made it more real.

"to marry him…"

"WHAT?" both of them said.

"I'm not. Not yet atleast."

"But Sam, you can't" Carly said.

"I have to! To protect you two!".

**Thanks for reading all of this, hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. Please review:) **


	10. iCant leave it alone

**Yeey new chapter! I was really disappointed of how few people who reviewed on the last chapter. I wan't to know how you guys think.! So please review. **

**In this chapter it will be the first time ever I have Spencer's POV. **

**Please enjoy. **

iCant leave it alone

_previously: _

_- Sam's hit one of her teacher's and she's told Carly and Freddie what's going on with her._

_This was the hardest and the last part to tell. This made it more real._

"_to marry him…" _

"_WHAT?" both of them said. _

"_I'm not. Not yet atleast."_

"_But Sam, you can't" Carly said._

"_I have to! To protect you two!". _

Freddie's POV:

Sam had just told us everything. I was speechless, how have she ever gone trough all that, alone? Not having anyone know.

Sam was still in my arms, she didn't really have any expression on her face, she didn't cry, she wasn't sad. She was still holding what she felt inside.

I did see her drop a few tears earlier while she was telling us, even she had to break.

But I still wanted her to show what she was feeling, I know it must be horrible, but why wouldn't she just show it? Is she embarrassed?

Sam got out of my grip, she turned and looked me in the eyes, she bit her lip and than turned to look down.

"Sam!" you can't marry him. He's like twice your age, and he's your uncle. This is just bizarre!" Carly said.

Sam was still turned to the ground, "I know, but I don't want to loose you two or anyone else, and I don't want you to get hurt because of me!"

"you need to talk to the police" Sam turned to Carly.

"Carly! He's got like 20-30 guys working for him. If I turn him in, they'll be coming after you, and take his revenge."

Now it was Carly's turn to look to the ground.

"But Sam! He's been torturing you since you where little. It can't just go on like nothing is wrong!" I said.

"yeah, but there's nothing I can do! And.. you guys can get hurt just by knowing this, if he find out." Sam said.

"we need to do something. I won't watch you trough your life away like this, and marry that horrible man." I didn't want to loose her, I hadn't even gotten her yet.

Sam looked away like she was remembering something or just thinking of something.

"Sam, Freddie's right, now that we know we can't just leave it alone, he didn't even get to kill us, who says he will the next?" Carly said.

Sam didn't reply, after a few seconds she said. "he wasn't always like this. He once was very close with my dad and…" Sam closed her eyes to build up the strength to say what she was gonna say next. "….and my dad even named me after him. Samuel. But, than one day he made my father leave us, me. When he started, his little love thing for me. I believe my dad was threatened by him. Once he got something on you, he's yours. "

"Sam.. you have to run away, or at least something" Carly said.

"and what about you two?"

"well, we can come with you."

"and everyone else I care about? It won't work Carly face it"

"but Sam!"

"But nothing, there will never be a solution okay? NEVER!"

Sam walked out of the bed, she still looked horrible. Me and Carly both followed her, so we where all standing on the floor now. "I'm going home." Sam said.

"No Sam, your not well" I said.

"which is why I should go home!"

"Sam, I want to know that you're safe and I can't know that if I can't keep an eye on you."

"Fine, I'm hungry and I might as well not starve all the way home"

"I'll go and make you something." Carly said and walked out.

Sam went back to the bed and lay down. I didn't go over to her, instead I sat down in the couch on Carly's room. I still needed to establish everything I'd just heard.

Spencer POV:

I was sitting in the couch watching some old DVD's of girly cow. I'd never seen it before, but it was just laying on the table, I figured they deserved to get used a little.

I was bummed, no one wanted to see my new sculpture, I thought they liked my sculptures, but I guess they have more important things.

Than I heard someone coming down the stairs, it was Carly. "hey Carls!" I said.

"hey" She said, not very happy.

She walked over to the kitchen, grabbed some things and started making something. I walked over to her. "is everything okay?"

"yes, everything is fine, why wouldn't it be?" She said a little nervous, like she was hiding something. I didn't really care, I knew my sister, she's not up to something, and if she was, the guilt would be to strong, so she would tell. So I went back to the couch.

"fine!" Carly suddenly said. "I'll tell you"

"okay.. cool"

She walked over, sat down in the couch beside me and folded her arms. "A friend of my is in trouble and I don't know how to help her get out of it."

"what kind of trouble." I asked.

"um.. Relationship trouble I guess."

"this friend of your, it doesn't happen to be you does it?"

"NO it's a friend!" she said, and she looked like she wanted to cry.

"well, I guess you should just be there for her. Support her."

"right." She said, and got up and pretended like something never happened. "I'm gonna go make some food."

Freddie's POV:

Carly came back up a few minutes later, she gave Sam her food and than she went out again, she said she wanted to get ready for bed, but I'm sure she wanted to be alone, thinking of what Sam had said as well. It was hard to know that someone that you'd been so close to had gone trough this. It seems so unbelievable. I was still sitting in the couch, but I figured I'd been 'ignoring' Sam for long enough. I'd been thinking enough of this.

I walked over to Sam. It seemed like she was the only one not reacting to what was going on. She was just sitting there, only focused on the food. "Man this is sooo good."

"Sam.."

"yeah?" She looked at me. Those beautiful blue eyes, I knew some where behind them, she was hurting. Than something came over me, I didn't know what it was. Maybe the fact that I would lose her, or maybe it was her eyes hypnotizing me. But in that moment I kissed her, on the mouth, and it felt like the world stopped, the only thing that matters what me and her.


	11. iDont want to be here

**iDon't want to be here. **

Sam's POV:

Freddie had just kissed me! He'd kissed me! I was speechless, I wanted to just kiss him again, but I couldn't. I couldn't get more attached to him, it would make it even harder to let him go.

He was looking deep into my eyes. "Freddie I.. We.."

"I know, but Sam I won't let you go. We'll find a way." He pushed some hair out of my face. The last time someone had done that on me, I was really uncomfortable, and wanted to get away. not this time.

"there are no.."

"No Sam, we'll find it!" He pulled me into a deep hug. It felt good to be so close to him, but I was also feeling regret. I didn't want him to get hurt.

"Hey Sam, I got you some p…"

Carly had just walked in, (in her PJ.) She saw us hugging, so me and Freddie pulled away from each other.

"I didn't interrupt anything, did I?" She asked.

"No" Me and Freddie said at the same time. We gave each other a nervous look.

There was awkward silence.

"well than, I got you some PJ's you can wear for the night." Carly said and gave me the clothes. I walked out of the room, to the bathroom so I could change.

Carly's POV:

Sam had just walked out, and there was another awkward silence.

"So..?" I asked Freddie teasing..

"So what?"

"Don't play dumb, what just happened?"

"I'm not sure"

"Gosh, you're never sure!"

"Yeah, well I am sure about how I feel about her."

"You are?" I asked excited, almost forgetting about the situation with Sam's uncle.

"yeah, but nothing can happen until she's safe you know. And if we're seen alone in public and I get hurt, she'll never forgive her self."

"Right, off course, it just seem so unreal. I still can't get my head around it."

We didn't say much to each other after that, but after just a few seconds Freddie's phone rang. "Hello?" he said. "Oh, right… yeah, I'm here… alright… yes, okay….love you to, bye" He hung up.

"you're mom?" I asked.

"Yeah, gotta go."

I locked at the clock, wow it was 11:30 pm already, and it was a school night, surprised she hadn't called before now.

Freddie started walking towards the door, but than he collided with Sam, cause she was coming the other way. They both bumped there heads. "watch where you're going Benson." Sam said while holding her forehead. "Sorry, I gotta go" Freddie said, and I noticed they gave each other some kind of a intense stare. Freddie, than walked out of sight, and Sam came in. She gave me a half smile, and I returned it. I wished life would be so easier some times, they belong together! I though.

Me and Sam both went to bed.

Sam's POV:

4 days later

It was Monday, I was back at school standing with Freddie and Carly by our lockers. I was getting ready to get my punishment, cause I hit the teacher. It had been an intense, sad and emotional weekend. I stayed at home at Friday as well, cause I didn't feel well, and it was nice to have some alone time. The only really good thing about the weekend was that I did not see my uncle, but I know he will probably be really mad next time I see him.

"Samantha Puckett to the principals office." A women said on the speakers. I got a furious vibe trough me. Why did they have to read out Samantha?

"Well see you guys" I said, to Carly and Freddie like it was no big deal.

"Good luck" Carly said.

"Hey Sam, I guess you know why you're here." Ted said when I was sitting in his office.

"yeah."

"why did you do it?"

"lets just say I was in an emotional state."

"so you hit him"

"yes."

"do you know, that he had to get three stitches in his forehead"

"No." I really didn't wanna be here, I wanted to get away some how. I would rather sit in class, than be here.

"Sam, we, me and some other teachers, have decided that you will go to some anger issues classes, and you'll be expelled for five days."

"anger issues…?" I didn't have anger issues! Didn't he know that? How could he do this to me.

"Sam, you should be glad. You're getting easy of you know."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't believe this, but I guess I was getting a little bit easy of. He gave a paper, with information about the classes, and I walked out.

I got my stuff, and walked out of the school, this was day one of my exposition.

When I got out, there was a car waiting for me, and I recognised it.

**Hope you liked this chapter, and please review :) **


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